I was raised by non-believers who did not teach me the ways of the Bible and instead taught against the instructions of the Word so that is what I grew up believing to be true. My mother attended church services so I had some example of religion and some background in Christianity but like I said... she did not know nor teach me God's instruction. Growing up my parents were divorced and I lived with my mother who moved around about every couple of months and was in and out of relationships. I suffered abuses growing up and craved stability so when I was thirteen, I told her that I wanted to live with my father. Since her and my father did not get along, she had her pastor come to the house and pray with me over the decision but when they asked for my reasoning, I was too afraid to tell the truth and they both got angry with me which terrified me and resulted in a pretty traumatic experience for me altogether... pushing me even further away from religion. As a teenager, one of my friends invited me to her church and I declared that I was saved at her church. I knew that I wanted the lifestyle of the people that I saw around me who were Christians and that I could pray to God for help, that He had already helped me so much in my life and that the way that I was living was not right, but because I was raised in a home that did not believe... I continued to do what I thought would help me reach my goals and looked to people for help. I thought that experiencing all that the world had to offer, despite God's instruction, would bring me happiness. So I continued in my ways at home and even more when I went away for college and joined a sorority. I disregarded human relationships and hurt people closest to me. I only considered my personal gains and because of that, I suffered extreme anxiety and depression going after things that did not truly bring joy. I was truly suffering on the inside while acting put together on the outside. When I graduated, I prayed as most people do who are not of faith the usual "God, I know you have not heard from me in a long time but...."prayer. Everything that I prayed for happened almost immediately and very easily and peacefully. I knew that I had to change my ways and told myself that I was going to commit but continued to fail (naturally). I prayed again. Again, everything was given to me that I requested. I knew that I loved God and wanted to do right and that I wanted to be known as a Christian so I kept looking to my peers who were raised in more stability to show me how to be a Christian....